Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sense-less (As usual)

Hi! Been a while, hasn't it? Well, it's not that I haven't been writing, in fact I've got a bunch of posts saved as drafts. Mostly they were about work, so I didn't think you'd like them anyway.

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So now I'm here, what to write about? Oh, I dunno... my life has been pretty boring as of late. Well, not that boring, just monotonous. Yeah, work has a lot to do with it, I guess. I'm working my ass off to stay employed. I hear jobs are pretty scarce nowadays, and the price of cigarettes are going up as well. Need that job to slowly kill myself with smoke.

Speaking of killing, I'm sure you noticed the picture of a rat pinned down by a flat iron that I posted the last time. (Yeah, got pretty lazy I didn't bother to write the story I wanted) Anyway, he's now our official mascot at home. When there's nothing else to do, my sister and I think up new ways of making its life more miserable. Guaranteed to bring a smile to your face each time.

Like the time I threw him into the laundry. I could imagine him squeaking and helpless, battling the spinning monster that is the washing machine. Or the time I put him in the microwave, hoping he's scare my sister during breakfast. Well, my sister didn't really see him and almost toasted him to dust. My favorite would probably be hiding him in the freezer... after which he stank like a hotdog. (The inspiration for throwing him in the laundry, in fact)

He survived. Rats are survivors anyway. He must have over 200 lives by my last count. We're trying to push him to see if he's got at least 500 more.

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Have I told you about my new favorite thing? No, not the rat, (close second, though) it's decaf. Yeah, coffee without having to worry about being awake until 3am. I started buying the stuff when I realized that I was downing too may cups of joe lately. I drink coffee when I wake up, when I get to the office, before lunch, after lunch and when I get home. Sometimes, I make myself a really generous mug of the stuff, and wonder why I always feel like there's an earthquake.

Why all that coffee? Because when you're a miser, and the coffee at the office is free, you get ideas.

So now, I drink decaf when I wake up (same effect of making you wanna poop), and when I get home. My house is now a caffeine-free zone! Obviously I get to sleep better as well, which saves me about an hour of being in zombie mode in the morning.

Now all this makes me wonder, who the heck invented the stuff? How did he suddenly realize that one day, someone would want to drink coffee without having to worry about not being able to sleep early? And then the more important question comes: If decaf is now a household name, why isn't non-alcoholic beer? I mean, I certainly wouldn't touch the stuff, and yet I hate hangovers. Do you think these alternatives were invented by one and the same guy? (Google away, people!)

So what other things have been bastardized of their original purpose? Do electronic cigarettes count? Zero-calorie soda? Veggie-meat? Invisible ink? Riverdale the movie? Pamela Anderson's breast reduction?

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I've been thinking of buying a car. I had to return my old one after I resigned from the company that actually owns it so now I'm taking the bus. But this afternoon, when I actually visited the dealership across the street from my office, I had second thoughts. Do I really need one?

Sure cars are convenient, but I've been doing alright for the past 2 months now without one that I'm beginning to wonder if I should buy one. Of course, there are times when I wish I had one at my disposal, but these have been few and far between, and almost always a cab is there to ferry me wherever I pleased.

Yesterday, I was on an out-of-office trip. I can't tell you how fun it was to sleep in the passenger's seat while a driver was doing all the work for you. I think I even snored myself awake a few times, but hell, I've logged enough hours doing the driving that I deserved this! And those times that I was awake, I did nothing but stare out of the window like a kid. Yeah, being a passenger is fun.