Another year of the same crap?

So I just came back from my annual new year's trip. This time to another country. Really weird considering that I never thought I'd ever work up enough energy (or money) to actually do it. But well, this is a new decade, after all. And with it, new things to try out. Yes, this is that stage of my life wherein I resolve to try new stuff out and actually have goals and resolutions.

But what things? I have no idea yet, which makes it all the more exciting, don't you think? There are some things that are already lined up in the short term, though, which actually comprise most of the year's resolutions. If you'd like to know what they are, I've listed them down for you:

1. Travel to a new country

Check. I went to China (Hong Kong, actually, but as I understand it, it is already a part of China) for new year's. Then in a couple of months, I'm going to Taiwan, which I'm not sure could be categorized as a new country. But I've booked a flight there anyway, despite not having enough money to do anything but sit my ass on the airport, waiting for the next flight home. Hopefully I can muster enough funds to actually step into a 7-11 and buy something, maybe a bottle of water and a club sandwich. I'm gonna bring a stick of gum anyway in case things don't work out financially.

2. Get a new job

Well, that's actually also in the works. As I understand it, I've already been promised a job offer in another company. When that offer will actually come, that is the current question. Will the offer be acceptable to myself? I've no idea until I actually see it. But, well, you get the idea.

3. 30 pounds

Of what? Of myself. That's how much I need to lose to be able to wear that darn t-shirt I bought myself while in China. Ambitious, ain't it? I figure that itself should keep me busy for the next 6 months or so. But what if I fail? Does a perfectly functional t-shirt go to waste? Of course not. I've gotten the number of a great tailor who could make the appropriate alterations to the shirt so I can fit myself into it. I'll let you know how it goes in 6 months.

4. Kill off all the cockroaches in my house

Now this is probably the toughest one yet. Killing off a species that has outlived almost everyone else on the planet in a year's time. Of course, an alternative statement would be "Keep the cockroaches out of the house", obviously more realistic. The plan involves a heck of a lot of plaster and tape, and finding out where the heck these darn insects are coming from. Then I'm gonna get me a hamster and train it to hunt down the ones that make it past the first line of defense.

If all else fails, I'm gonna just move the heck out of the house and into a nice little condo high up in the stratosphere. I figure anything above the 20th floor should be safe enough. If any cockroach can flap his little wings that high up, they should be too tired to pose any serious threat to Mooky the cockroach eating hamster.

5. Kill something for food

Now this may seem a bit morbid, but don't worry, I'm planning to start slow. I've been thinking of planting tomatoes at home, and maybe carrots. After I've been able to successfully "hunt" and "slaughter" these down, then I can move on to larger prey, such as watermelons or a bitter gourd. I might need to enlist Mooky's help with these, so I guess I'd have to share some with him. But eventually, I should be able to move up the food chain until I reach the point when I'm "stalking" a chicken.

You know what, I just realized that these 5 should be enough for a year. Yeah, any more and I doubt I'd find the time to sit around and watch television all day. Anyway, wish me luck!