What a waste of cola...

It's one of those nights, when things just don't go your way.

I slept most of the day (and early evening) away, and then bedtime comes, but I'm not sleepy, of course. I look into the refrigerator, get some ice, some cola, then turning around to get the rhum, realize that I'm all out. Crud, why did I forget to buy a bottle?

So no rhum tonight, just have to settle with Mr. Johnny Walker I guess. I drink the coke and pour in the whisky (no "e", apparently because it's Scotch). This will have to do.

"Does it really matter, which kind of alcohol you drink?"

Of course it does, silly! We're not in college anymore, that time when you had to make do with whatever your leftover lunch money will get you. (mostly cheap gin and cheap juice, I remember) However it does vary from person to person, one man's poison is another's toilet water, I guess. Me? I happen to be partial to either whisky or beer, but there are a lot of layers in between.

To explain:

Whisky/Whiskey, on the rocks, is for the quiet celebration, the kind where I sit back and think to yourself 'That was some really good porn!' or 'Gee, that was a fun batch of laundry'. I don't drink it just for kicks, that would be irresponsible and a waste of some perfectly good (and expensive) alcohol. It doesn't affect my memory as much, which makes it ideal when I want to play out the good times in my head over and over again.

Beer, on the other side of the spectrum, is the anytime, anywhere, any occasion drink of choice. Hanging out with friends? Lite beers. Watching Hazel or Sapphire dance their way through college? Pale Pilsen. Catching your alma mater get pummeled in basketball on the telly, an extra stong Red Horse, for crying out loud. Really, beer is the work horse of a working man's day.

Brandy is really special. It's supposed to be drunk raw, neat, without anything pretentious, sans the frills. Perfect for a hard day at work, or when that total bitch you were dating suddenly breaks up with you. Nice and cheap, too, just how you're feeling when you're sitting by the gutter wallowing in self-pity.

Wine is perfect for watching a chick flick on DVD. See those tall, delicate wine glasses? What else could make you feel like you're the biggest pussy in the world? Red, white, whatever, when you see me drinking wine, hand me that box of Kleenex. Damn, I feel all bloated and ugly just writing about it. It is quite useful though on a date, when you need to get in touch with your feminine side to get that 'Wow, you really get me! You're not like all those other men.' reaction. Me, I just keep handy a flask of Whisky for after those really, really, REALLY good dates.

Vodka or Gin is a really great way to get hammered. Whenever I feel all caveman and shit, this is definitely the way to go. No, I won't need juice to wash it down, thank you. Just give it to me straight and we're gonna have a good time.

Rhum/rum, usually with a 3:1 ratio of cola, is my choice when I want to just chill and listen to music, sorta like tonight. The cola sorta perks up my senses, but is tamed down by the alcohol. Of course, if I'm perked-up already, I simply opt to just shoot it straight.

"What about those mixed drinks? Like margaritas?"

Hmm, when I turn out to be gay, I'll let you know. However, I have had a taste of the stuff, I'll admit. You see sometimes, Hazel/Sapphire likes to order a batch of the stuff and lets me try them. It's kinda hard to say no when it's all for a good cause. Also, when my date is all curious with names like "Blow Job" or "Sex on the Beach", I throw out my wine and just go with the flow.

I draw the line at tequila though, I'm kinda allergic to it. By allergic, I mean after 4 shots of the stuff, I'm passed out with absolutely no memory of having a 5th shot and thereafter. I dunno, it's probably some complex chemistry, and I hate chemistry.

Hmm, my glass seems to have gone empty. Sorry guys, gotta get myself a refill.