UP at ako

Hinugot mula sa facebook...

1. ANONG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
Di pwedeng sagutin... password ko siya sa halos lahat. hehehe

2. NAKAPASA KA BA OR WAITLISTED?
nakapasa

3.PAANO MO NALAMAN ANG ENTRANCE EXAM RESULT?
Excited tatay ko... pumunta UP at tinawag saken sa bahay

4. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
Mech Eng'g

5. SECOND CHOICE?
Indl Eng'g - Eng'g Eng'g talaga ako nun.

6. ANONG COURSE NATAPOS MO?
Community Dev't

7. NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
nde... sinipa ako at nag-apply sa ibang course, so nde siya shift. hehehe

8.. CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
nde

9.. NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
nde

10.. NAKA UNO KA BA?
yep... CD 198 ata

11.. NAGKA-3?
yep... halos lahat ng pinasa ko 3

12.. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
pag exam. o pag boring sa tambayan.

13.. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?
di ba lahat naman tayo? iskolar ng bayan?

14.. ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO?
marami... lampas 200 ata. daming course e. hehe

15. NANGARAP KA BANG MAGING CUM LAUDE?
nde. asa pa...

16. KELAN KA NAGTAPOS?
2002

17. FAVE PROF
hmm... patay na e... de vera ata. math 53

18.. WORST TEACHER:
Caces (aka Pidol)... PE.

19.. FAVE SUBJECT:
German 10-11

20.. WORST SUBJECT:
Physics 72.

21. FAVE BUILDING:
Llamas Hall (Tagal ko dun e! hahaha!)

22. PABORITONG KAINAN:
Marivic. pisbolan sa eng'g

23. NONG ESTUDYANTE KA PA MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
depende anong taon.

24.. LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY?
nde.

25.. NAGPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC NUN?
infirmary... oo. nung medical at nung nagka-allergies ako.

26.. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
yep.

27.. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO?
Bowling (Duckpin), Badminton (Caces), Table Tennis, Bridge (Caces)

28.. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
ayus! mga barako't magagandang dilag! hahaha!

29.. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG?
nde

30.. MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
nde

31.. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
di ko maalala... malamang wala.

32.. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
nde, lumakas oo.

33.. Nahuli ka bang nakikipaglampungan sa Sunken Garden?
nahuli hinde.

34. Saan ang pinakamasarap na Fishball?
sa tapat post office sa may DMTC

35.. Anong battalion mo nung ROTC?
Field Artillery

36.. Ano paborito mong meryenda sa UP?
yosi

37.. Naikot mo na ba ang acad oval?
yep

38.. Inulan ka ba nung umattend ka ng University Graduation?
nde ako umattend. mahal e.

39.. Ano ang pinakagrabeng pilang napuntahan mo?
pila sa e-heads concert/album launch ng cutterpillow.

40.. Kung may quote ka para sa UP, ano ito?
Namu... UP ako. bwahaha!

Boredom taking over

Spell I-r-o-n-y

Woke up early this morning. Thought I would get to the office early or at least on time. Lo and behold when I went down to the garage, I had a flat tire. Some days, you just wish you hadn't gotten up from bed.

*****

Turn on the fan, time to spread some bull-shit!

Wouldn't you know it, have been preparing the wrong sort of data the whole day for my 3pm meeting. Well, my boss certainly didn't mind, I guess he was trying to see how much of my job I was really doing. Not much, admittedly but I do have a great talent for spewing out a lot of bullshit for the very little I know. This is probably why I know I'm headed to hell when I kick the bucket.

*****

No thanks to Mondays...

Again, I'm looking at another hectic week. There seems to be no end in sight until I am able to hit my target for the year, good luck to myself. Hopefully, luck favors me and hands me my job on a platter, otherwise it's going to be a very long year. But hey, I do owe my job a lot. For these past years, I have been putting in the least amount of effort and somehow end up getting the most credit. So in a way, I'm just satisfying the law of averages, or Murphy's Law whichever is more applicable.

*****

Timber!

Went for a jog at UP yesterday. As I was hobbling down past the sunken garden, I suddenly remembered that trivia question about how many coconut trees could be found there. The answer? Nil. Someone cut down the coconut tree, leaving a stump where it used to be. A sign of the times? I guess UP no longer tolerates people standing out and being unique and special, thus the coconut tree has to go! Either that or penis envy.

*****

Check mate

There used to be a really cool chess game on this computer of mine. So far, I've been able to beat it twice out of probably a hundred times (Hey, I'm rusty!) Got the urge to play all of a sudden here at the gas station, but I couldn't find it. Though I can't remember it, the most likely cause is that I got so frustrated at losing once again and deleted it out of rage. (Die computer, DIE!) Of course, the possibility that it simply got bored with playing with me and decided to uninstall itself is not that far off as well.

*****

Anyone from Nestle?

The buyer from Nestle sent me an email. It was a request for a quality audit on their stocks and deliveries. In the past, I would normally just reply that we weren't capable of doing this... blah blah. This is beyond our capabilities, and yet I am taking it on in the name of "business development". Frankly, I just want to get more business and of course, more money which is why I am researching how to subcontract it to other parties and pass it off as our own work. So does this entail that I am providing alternative solutions as an added value to my client or simply ripping them off and taking their money? Hmm... who cares! I need the effin bonus!

*****

Where's that trout when you need it?
(If you understand this title... I pity you, nerd!)

Facebook developer: So Hap, how do you like fb's new look?
Hap: Huh? did it change?
FB: Yes, we've made it better! Unfortunately some people are not used to it and are expressing their dislike.
Hap: Bunch of losers!
FB: But we truly understand how they feel and welcome their comments and insights. Maybe you would like to comment on it as well?
Hap: Why?
FB: Try it! It might be fun!
Hap: Uhm, I dunno. sounds like work to me.
FB: Mo-Fo.

*****

Me the pig

Woman: What do men look for in women?
Woman's Conventional Wisdom: Companionship
Hap: Me too, and the more women, the better the companionships!

Woman: What first attracts a man to a woman?
WCW: Her eyes
Hap: WTF? they're called breasts...

Woman: Do men also believe in love at first sight?
WCW: Absolutely
Hap: Yep, if they were naked the first time we see them... and horny.

Woman: True or false, a gentleman always lets a lady go first?
WCW: True
Hap: Depends on which is better, breasts or butt.

Woman: Is it alright for a girl to ask a guy out?
WCW: Women should be able to ask a guy out without losing dignity! You go girl!
Hap: No, unless you're putting out. Are you?

Woman: What is the best way to celebrate a year into a relationship?
WCW: A breathtaking date out of town, only the two of you! Aww...
Hap: Sex... definitely. Time to try out other orifices...

Woman: What is the best way to breaking up?
WCW: Communication is key, one has to understand the other and realize it's just not working out.
Hap: Seeing you in bed with your other girlfriend, maybe she'll join in on the fun!

Woman: Do men talk about how a girl is in bed with other guys?
WCW: A true gentleman should know better!
Hap: A true man needs not have sex with a particular girl to talk about it! hahaha!

Woman: What do guys think if a girl has had more than one sexual relationships in the past?
WCW: A guy should respect a girls privacy.
Hap: Ohh-ohh, me next!!!

Woman: Why don't some men call after a first date?
WCW: Because they want to seem cool and not over-eager.
Hap: Guess you didn't put out, huh?

Incoherent Thoughts

Woke up late this morning. As I was having coffee, I realized that I am incapable of holding a single coherent train of thought. Hence, I need to write if only to organize myself for the "short" day ahead of me.

*****

Recently, I've been finding myself unable to catch up with all the things that I need to do. There's work, then there's my reading list, then car repairs, a haircut, cleaning the house and so forth and so on. Timely that I had given up my other job, otherwise I wouldn't know how to manage all of these.

So this is the rat-race, I suppose. That spectacle of chasing after something that you are never really going to catch up to. I started working as an assistant, rock bottom in a small company with a salary pegged at minimum wage. Back then, I thought if I could only double that salary then everything would be fine. As the years went pass, I did get that raise year after year to a point that was unimaginable for me starting out then, but I find myself stuck even more firmly in quicksand. Heck, I'm even poorer than when I started out! Hmm, heirarchy of needs, I guess. The more that we have, the more that we want. And the finish line is nowhere in sight.

But don't be mistaken that this problem is limited only to finances, it is an all-encompassing phenomenon that I realize is part of life. A few days ago, I listed down my top 5 goals (unrealistic as it may seem) and realized that there is a long way to go to achieving contentment. Maybe what I really want is that Jedi mind trick to condition myself to find happiness in whatever state I might find myself in. The only problem being finding oneself too happy in a certain state that life gets pretty pointless after that.

Now this brings to mind the statement "Evolve or die" which I can't place where I got but has stuck to me, nonetheless. And next comes "Life's a journey, not a destination" which was popularized by Aerosmith. It would seem that happiness is in the pursuit and not in the actualization. Now that sucks.

Consider an example, two kids in the car with their parents going to a resort far away. One kid is playing with a PSP, the other is too excited about all the fun he could have at the resort. Who do you think yells, "Are we there, yet?" much to the irritation of the parents? One is perfectly happy where he is and the other is miserable at how long the journey is taking. Scenario 1: The resort is closed, and the family settles on an out of town picnic. So one kid is devastated while the other continues staring at his PSP. Scenario 2: The resort is open, one kid is terribly ecstatic while the other merely amused. Yes I know, dumb example. But hey, this is my space and I can put all the dumb things that comes to mind, can't I?

The Death of Benjie the Mole-Rat (second part)

II.

Benjie was quite content. Far luckier than any other rodent of his particular subspecies, he has enjoyed a rather comfortable and blessed life. All his life, he never had to scavenge for food, and his clean and caring environment was a far cry from the dank dark sewers that other rats had to endure. Yet, there was something missing which he just couldn’t understand.

He had his own yard, where he mingled with cats, dogs and chickens. Every once in a while, he would scamper off to the dog’s den to have a snack and they would make room for him and leave him be. When the kittens arrived, he was free to play with them and chase them around while the mother merely looked on. His human was a gentle giant, coaxing him up to his shoulders where he would see other humans regard him as he would them. Yet, with all this freedom he sensed that he did not belong to this world. Yet, where did he belong then?

One day, as he was as usual looking down on the fishes in the fishpond, attempting to catch some fingerling with his paws, he smelled something different in the air. He turned around and from the shadows of the woodshed, he vaguely saw something move. Then he heard the barking of the dogs and the scent had slowly faded further into the shadows. He wondered what it was, and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him into the woodshed. Just as he picked up the scent once again, the human called out to him, with his usual lunch. He stopped a split second to think and then found himself running to the human.

That night, Benjie couldn’t sleep. He still remembered the scent from that morning and he was eyeing the woodshed from the corner of his eye. What mystery did it hold? He had enough and went to investigate in the middle of the night, lit only by the moonlight. The woodshed stank of rotting wood and cockroaches infested it in the cool night. He had always loathed these insects as they would usually dirty up his food and water, he hissed at each one that came in his way and they obligingly made way. The woodshed was darker than he imagined. Several times he had meant to explore this area but all these months, he found no reason to seek out its mysteries until now. He crawled as low as he could through the spaces in between the wooden planks and boards, careful not to make even the slightest sound. The air here was heavier, and with each gentle breeze, the boards moved a little, making creaking sounds that left him uneasy.

About four feet into the woodshed, he caught a distinctly strong and pungent scent. It was a part of that which he encountered in the morning, he must be getting close. He followed the scent trail until he came upon a hole on the concrete floor. This was where the scent came from! He peered into the darkness and found nothing. All he found was the gentle trickle of water echoing through the hole. He made up his mind and went carefully down into the hole. Getting into the hole required all of his concentration as the slippery concrete made his footing suspect and the moisture was making his fur wet and heavy. Then he found what seemed like a canal, water streaming down to an even bigger one. By now, his eyesight had adjusted to the dark and he was able to make faster through the tunnels. Only a few moments after he made it to what seemed like the main canal, he caught the same scent he was nosing around for. He ran to where it was, his tiny little heart beating so hard that he had difficulty hearing himself think.

Turning a corner, he stopped to find what he was looking for, there she was. Their beady eyes locked onto each other, it was a creature that was just like him, the first that he had seen in his life. He did not know what to do, this was farthest from what he was expecting to find. Apparently he did not have to do anything, as it was she who came to him. Benjie stood there frozen, he had meant to run back but found his legs stiff and his knees rigid. She was crawling towards him ever so slowly and by the time she had reached him, he had turn pale and fainted.

Benjie woke up to a strange world that was dark and reeked of everything rotten. He found himself on the very same spot where he last remembered, and after realizing this, suddenly found himself panicking again and looking where she could be. She was where he found him, staring at him with curiosity. He finally found the courage to take a step towards her when he picked up another scent, a different one. Then he heard a tweet and behind her, he saw a much smaller version of her. He stared at the little one but no sooner that he was about to take another step forward than he heard her shrill cry and saw her charging him. He stopped head in his tracks and felt all of his muscles tense up. She too stopped in her tracks and savagely screamed at him. Benjie ran back, unmindful this time of his paws slipping and soon found himself back in the woodshed with his heart pounding. It was almost morning, the first gentle rays of light shone through the little spaces between the boards and he rushed to get back to his little nest.

All day long, he thought about her. He could not understand why she was not as curious about him as he was her. He wondered if he were to come back to her nest, would he be able to look at her again, study her and find out more about himself as well? He spied the woodshed that whole day. Almost missing his lunch and several times falling asleep on the watch. Half the time he was contemplating if he would go back down in the night but terrified of what other horrors lay beneath. Day turned into night, and he was about to give up the watch and go to sleep when again, that same scent wafted into his snout. There she was, peeking out of the other side of the woodshed!

He stood still, wondering why she was there. Then he saw here charge through the yard to where the dogs were. She went into their food bowl where many times he had also been and took morsels of leftover food. Then just as quickly, she charged back into the woodshed and disappeared. So she wanted a little snack, he thought. Then suddenly, she was back again and charging for the foodbowl before disappearing back into the woodshed. He stood still while all this was happening and he noticed that she did this three more times that night. This puzzled him no end until he grew tired and fell asleep.

When he awoke, he had a plan. At luchtime, he did not finish his food as he set aside the best portions in his nest, careful not to let the cockroaches get to them. He had also made a few trips to the dogs and took some portions of their food as well. (The cats were pretty selfish about their food so he did not bother with theirs) Then when the night came, he put all the food he had gathered at the mouth of the hole in the woodshed and stood guard a distance away where he could see it. After a few hours, she came and was seemingly puzzled to find the food right there without having to go any further. She quickly took the food, as much as she could eat and carry and disappeared back. This pleased him, he had found a way to make contact, albeit from a distance. He did this again on the following days with the same results. On the fifth day, he used a different tact as he now stationed himself still at a distance but where she would be able to see him. She appeared and despite expecting her all these hours, Benjie was still taken aback by the sight of her. She regarded her for a short while, before slowly and carefully making her way to the food. She took it and without taking her eyes off of him, went slowly down the hole. Again he did this on the following days.

On the fifth day, he again changed his tactic. He gathered all the food that he could carry and went down the hole to her. She was quite surprised to see him, but this time there was no violent reaction. He stopped at the foot of her nest and she met him and accepted his gift. She then turned around and gave it to three smaller creatures that she shared her nest with. She then turned back to him and motioned her thanks as best she could. He was ecstatic and savored his victory all the way back up to his nest. Now he had a friend that was much like himself.

As the days went by, they became closer and closer. He came to visit to bring her food while she sometimes came up and stayed with him in his nest. Often he left his yard to play with the smaller rodents in their dens, and he invited them to visit him in his. He had finally found what he was looking for, a family to belong to, one of his own.

It all came to a tragic end one night, as he was getting ready to go to bed. He went down the hole for the last time to check on them. He was shocked to find blood and gore all over the nest, and the small creatures that he had played with were being devoured by others of his kind. He was about to confront them when he saw her, cowering in a distant corner, helplessly watching her family being literally torn apart. She saw him and ran to him, she was bidding him up the hole to escape the wrath of these others. They ran as fast as they could, but in their rush the others took notice and charged up after them. They ran to his nest, but the others were on their tails. Benjie, in a fit of bravery, turned around and ran in a different direction, hoping to lure the other rats to pursue him instead. It worked, and soon he was headed for help. Alas, when he got to the cats corner of the yard, he was nowhere to be found! And so he was cornered with two rats charging up at him. Benjie was desparate, with all of his might, he charged at one of them and succeeded in getting him off balance. This scuttled the other one, providing Benjie with the slimmest of lines of escape. He ran as fast as he could, the dogs were his last chance. He could hear the other rats behind him, the scurrying of their paws getting closer and closer. And then, the dogs began barking. He heard the scurrying stop and when he reached the dogs den, he found that the other rats were gone. He was lucky the dogs were awake, and just as soon wondered if she was alright.

He ran back to his nest to check on her. He charged through the yard, worried about her. His worrying got the better of him as he did not take notice of the scent of the rat hidden under the canal that ran through his path. Suddenly, he felt the claws upon him as they tumbled on the concrete together. He struggled with all his might but he was just not strong enough. He felt the necklace come loose, and then a sharp pain in his neck. He continued his losing struggle until suddenly his adversary was gone. The cat got the other rat and threw him on the grass. This rat was no match for the cat, who chased after him, caught him with his claws, pinned him to the ground before delivering the coup de grace. As soon as the shrieks of the rat were silenced, the cat took him in his mouth and jumped back up to the roof with his prize.

Benjie knew it was over, he got to his feet and tried to make his way back to his nest. It was getting dark, the adrenalin stopped and he was suddenly getting tired. He thought about family, the human who fed him and cared for him, the dogs who obliged his need to snack on their food, the cat who despite not being on good terms, helped him in this moment of need, and her who had given him happiness in these past few days. He had everything now, and was indeed happy.

He was tiring fast with each crawling step. He closed his eyes to shake off the tiredness, but found darkness when he opened them again. His last step slipped and he fell into the shallow water of the canal, taking his last thoughts of her into eternity.

TO BE CONTINUED…

The Death of Benjie the Mole-Rat

There used to be a mole which made a home in our garden. We only discovered it when my dad caught him (or her?) caught in his rat-trap. Funny little creature, gigantic claws, pointy nose and the smallest pair of eyes. My dad couldn’t figure out what to do with it and just let it go. It didn’t scamper off as expected, it crawled its way ever slowly to the nearest patch of soil it could find and disappeared. Since then, my dad has had a fascination for these creatures. He couldn’t believe that our home had one, specially since underneath our shallow topsoil laid a huge slab of adobe.

So one day, while my dad was walking home from the barber around the corner, he spotted this pink creature on the side of the road. It had a pointed snout, what seemed like claws and had small eyes. He picked it up, laid it carefully in the palm of his hand and brought it home. He showed it to me, asking whether it was what he thought it was. Since I too had been fascinated by the mole he found earlier, I had let myself and my dad believe that it was indeed a newborn mole!

My dad cared for that creature as he did all his pets. He fashioned out a baby bottle to feed it milk, ground up bits of food and made him a home out of a discarded aquarium. It was complete with wood chips he had made as well as a small sort of pillow where he laid it after feeding. For weeks, his curiosity turned into an obsession as he diligently made sure that it was healthy and even missed out on some of his favorite television programs just watching his new found pet struggle around with the wood chips and glass.

After a few weeks, it was evident that the creature was not a mole, rather it was a common sewer rat abandoned by its mother. It took my dad a while to finally come to terms with this discovery, but now it didn’t matter to him what the heck this creature was. Now, he even named the little guy, Benjie.

Benjie grew up to be a sort of amusement in our household. He was now a juvenile, and he did not like to be cooped up in the aquarium any longer. So my dad let him wander the grounds and made sure the dogs never mistook Benjie for food. (A harsh lesson for our dogs and cats) Benjie was free to come in and out of the house and he roamed around to the dogs area, scrounging up food from their leftovers. He was free to climb trees, drink from the fishpond (I swear I saw him one time plotting against the fish!), chase birds and climb the table where we fed him from our plates. His mild temperament earned him praises from my dad, and as a mark of distinction, he fashioned out a gold necklace for Benjie who seemed to be comfortable with his shiny bling.

So Benjie became a part of the family. My dad usually introduced him to visitors by allowing him to climb up his arms to his shoulders, perched like a pirate’s parrot and just sitting there, seemingly listening in on the conversation (To the disgust of our guests, I could imagine).

Soon, Benjie found love. He was sharing his nest with a common sewer rat, one unlike him was void of any refinements and a twice weekly shampoo session. He seemed settled in with his mate, they chased each other around the yard and shared food. My dad was so proud of Benjie, he smiled as he watched Benjie taking food and rather than eating with us, brought it back to his nest. Then he would look at me and exclaim why can’t I be more like Benjie. (Yeah, he always wanted me to be a dirty rat!)

One day, as I was leaving for school I noticed drops of blood leading to the small canal we had in our yard. Following the blood, I found Benjie, laying there in the shallow water in a pool of his own blood, his beady eyes open and his necklace a few inches away. It reeked of murder in the household! I almost ran as I woke up my dad, I told him what had happened to Benjie. He sprang up from bed still in his underwear and with utter disbelief, shouted at me to tell him this was not true. He ran to the canal and found that indeed, Benjie was no more. He shook his head, took Benjie into the same palms of his hand where he had carried a pink creature back home months back, and cleaned the blood off his dark brown fur.

I can’t recall how the funeral and burial went, I had a class to go to and had to leave my dad with his heart broken and asking a million questions as to how it happened. I came home and there was no more Benjie. His nest had been cleaned out, the blood washed off the floor and his home during the early weeks of his life had been washed and taken out of sight. What I did recall was a set of rat traps laid out on the yard, carnage was to come…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Top 5s

Ethel and I were chatting about goals recently. Told her I'd blog about it. Then I thought about what I wanted and holy crap, there were so many! So my top 5s:

Vehicles:

1. Ford Escape
2. Toyota Corona Exsior
3. 94 Honda Civic Esi
4. Isuzu Fuego Pick up
5. Wrangler Jeep

Doodads:

1. Luxury watch (Omega?)
2. Home Entertainment system
3. MP3 player
4. Wayfarer (black)
5. Aspire One

Apparel:

1. Brown shoes
2. Dress pants
3. Suit
4. New jeans
5. F1 jacket

Achievements:

1. Write a novel
2. Write a short story collection
3. Rome
4. One man road trip covering the whole PI
5. Get into shape

Home & Garden:

1. Design my own house
2. Tend to a vineyard
3. Log cabin in Sagada
4. A garage full of power tools
5. A den with a billiard table, poker table, dartboard, full bar and home theater

Hobbies and Games:

1. Play soccer
2. Golf
3. Beat a GM in chess
4. Race an F1 car
5. Professional poker player

Skills:

1. Build and fabricate my own car from scratch
2. Draw
3. Calligraphy
4. Win deity level in civilization
5. Sailing

Hmm, probably need several lifetimes to do all this...

I wanna watch

Lately, I've become so conscious of wrist watches. I can't help but glance at the watches of the people around me. In the past, I don't think I've ever noticed wrist watches and have not worn one most of high school and all of college. I bought the watch I have now (a lowly Timex) just last year and have worn this same one for just about every occasion.

I think I need to get myself another wrist watch. But I can't decide what I should get. I definitely don't want one with a digital read out, I prefer the ones with the minute, hour and second hand ticking away. A dressy watch perhaps? Something silver and with a white dial. Problem is, the only one that I could afford is a Fossil or another Timex.

But why do I want another watch? I bought the one I have specifically because I could wear it to just about any occasion, thus I don't really need another one. Let me tell you a little story:

Back when I was in the first year of high school, I had a Casio. The kind that most freshmen in high school wore. (because we were just too lazy to tell time by the hands) Unfortunately due to my stupidity, I left that one in the gym after PE class and never saw it again. Of course daddy was pissed as hell and never let me forget about it till now. Then, my dad gave me another watch, an old Omega of his. This one I didn't wear as religiously and I left it most of the time at home. So my dad decided to take it back for fear that I might lose it again. Well, it got lost and up till now, my dad still blames me. So out of spite, I swore I would never wear a watch till I could afford one on my own. This was the time of the pager, then replaced by the cellphone, so I didn't really have too much of a need for a watch anyway.

Now that I have finally bought a watch, I find it indispensable and wear it all of the time. This realization, as well as all those years of watchlessness has probably caused my desire to get another watch.

So now, I am seriously considering whether to get a watch or that long overdue home theater system. Could'nt I get both? Nope, don't have the money. So if you see me with a shiny new watch, then know that I am still pining for that system.

Of spare tires and accidents

Last night it was raining while I was driving home, gee whiz, how many times did I have to keep rubbing my eyes because I couldn't see the road ahead of me! It was dark, and the asphalt was black, too. Little specks of rain kept on refracting the light in front of me blurring my vision. When will they finish all these road works? Hopefully before the law of averages catch up on me.

I was having coffee at the usual gas station when a screeching sound, then a blunt thud came from the highway. A wayward truck slammed onto a concrete barrier knocking it to the other side of the highway to oncoming traffic. A pick up braked hard to avoid it, but it got hit by the flying barrier anyway. The sudden stop then caused the car behind it to slam into it before it got waylaid onto the other lane. And while this was happening, the truck finally came to a stop a few meters away, abruptly halted by a larger and more solid barrier. No one seemed to be hurt, save maybe for some egos.

It's been more than 6 years since I've been traversing this highway to and from work, and so far, have been lucky to avoid such situations. Hope this streak continues...

*****

So now traffic has slowed to a crawl on both sides of the highway. Not that these 3 vehicles were blocking any passages, just the usual habit of other drivers to slow down and gawk at what happened, coming to conclusions and coming up with their own theories on how this could have been avoided. The frantic efforts of the highway patrol to wave them on is futile to say the least, and the mini-scene that the drivers of the involved vehicles were making is definitely not helping speed things up.

*****

I need a spare tire. The one I have wiggles when driven, thus it is considerable unsafe to drive it on long distances. Well actually, all I need is a rim but lucky me, the size of the tires means that the rims I have to get is not that easy to find, and quite expensive as well.

I've been asking around for rims of the same size but so far, no luck on finding one that can be bought by piece. I need to find one soon, in less than two weeks a bunch of us are going to Bicolandia and so the car has to be safe and ready by then. I don't want another replay of what happened on the SCTEX at the start of the year.

Lazing Around

I woke up to the gentle tip-tapping of the rain. So this is summer? My first thoughts were of how ironic it is that I just had my car washed the day before after almost a month of dirt, grime and mud latching on to every inch of the body. Rats, sixty bucks wasted.

The bitter taste of black coffee only added to my misery. I was supposed to be at the office by 9:30, which is already over an hour later than the actual start of business. The clock read 9:00. Should I call in sick? Maybe fake a client call? Of course not, nobody in the office would believe me anyway, so why bother?

I drove to work listening to the counting crows... was hoping to listen to jennifer love hewitt but didn't get a copy from rj yet. Pretty uneventful drive, it was raining so got my first taste of nicotine at petron along slex. Was late already anyway... 30 more minutes couldn't hurt.

Got the usual cheers at the office, they love it when i'm late. Specially my boss who I think is plotting a line chart of the hours that i come to the office late. Work piled up on my desk, decided on a quick 20 minute cigarette break, it was 11:30am.

Made doodles of a signature for an hour after lunch. My mind isn't working. Decided to get out of the office, had to visit a client that afternoon anyway so left earlier. Got to my client and chatted him up for a couple of hours, then went window shopping for a pair of sanuk.

Got back to the office a shade after 4:30. Saw my boss walking out the door... almost saw the bubble above her head (where the heck has he been all day?) I tried my best to hide a grin...

So guess where I am now? Back at the gas station, sipping already cold coffee and smoking, smoking, smoking some more. I hope the traffic's bad... really bad. So that I can find relief for a whole day of doing nothing.

My favorite stretch of road

Just came from one of my favorite places to drive through, it's that stretch of road from Tabangao to Ilijan in Batangas City. I've been coming to Ilijan each year for the last 5 years since the power plant there is a client of mine and each year, I get excited each time.

The road itself is not too impressive, there are spans of unpaved, dirt roads and a lot of uneven concrete sections running up through the mountains. What I love however, is the great view that it offers of the Batangas coast line while you're high up in the rolling terrain. The deep blue waters against the green islands underneath the powder blue sky. If only for this view, I would probably want to invest in an SLR.

Last year, I chanced upon the many development projects being undertaken in this particular community. There's a high end subdivision in the works, as well as some sort of resort. Fortunately it still isn't finished, otherwise it would have spoiled my drive. It has been some sort of tradition for me to stop along certain points along the road and just enjoy the cool breeze while staring at the azure, so you could imagine the hassle of not being able to do that because of vehicular traffic.

Well, waiting for the chance again next year to stopover at my favorite spots.

Hap’s Listening Post

A dear friend of mine accused me recently of being too dramatic. (“inarte” actually) Of course I denied it outright, blaming stress and a hectic schedule. In the weeks before that, I was already noticing that something had changed in my attitude and behavior. I was feeling tired, agitated and frustrated all at the same time. Paranoia was setting in and I was suddenly in a constant state of panic that I slept less and less and was restless for days. I was burning out and depressed.

This was new to me, even on the verge of being kicked out of college, I don’t remember having been subjected to this amount of stress. My usual apathy and happy go lucky attitude usually keep me balanced enough not to worry as much as I should.

Fortunately, I realized the situation was getting out of hand before I broke down and ruined my life. (well, that is still a possibility) I needed to think about the situation and find a way to resolve it. So I hung out at a gas station one night and just sat there, thinking what was wrong with me:

1. I had stopped eating carbs and drinking much less alcohol in an attempt to bring down my weight. This probably led to some withdrawal symptoms coupled with a lack of energy source in my diet. Thus, physiologically, I was starving myself to depression.
2. I was thinking too much of money, which is the reason why I took on more writing jobs, which was turning my brain to jelly on a daily basis.
3. I was thinking too much of money because I was trying to pay off my credit cards as well as saving up for the home I was buying and getting myself that home theater. Also, with my birthday coming up, I was nowhere near my target budget and wanted to do something about it. Then my pocket vacations also required some cash to be left over after all the bills. All that thinking of where the money was going to come from took its tool on my jelly-brain.
4. I was nowhere near my target for work and my boss was already pressuring me to do something about it. Of course, I could always argue that the recession took its toll, but I am not fond of making excuses for my shortcomings and neither is my boss one eager to accept it.
5. My social life was non-existent because of all the work, so not much time to unwind. I got home in the wee hours of the morning and was getting less and less sleep.

Of course there are also other factors, but for the meantime, lets concentrate on the above. So now I am trying to eliminate these factors one at a time:

1. I started to exercise again, coaxing my body to use up its reserve energy instead of cutting off consciousness. I figure this will allow me to keep my diet while giving me enough energy on a daily basis.
2. I try not to think of money, I stopped planning for future purchases and looked for other options to better manage my finances.
3. I slowed down on my writing stint and had already turned down additional work for the time being. Am also not stressing on my backlog, sorry bro.
4. Am concentrating on some long term goals at work, nothing I can do much about the present, but this will be a great help for the rest of the year. (Still some pressure there, though, I will be traveling a whole lot the rest of the year for work)
5. Found time to hang out with some friends last week over some beers. Needed to unwind. Also began writing more for myself, some uploaded to this blog while the rest for my own personal entertainment.

Pardon me if I seem a bit cranky, I’m still ironing out the kinks. Hopefully it works out well, don’t think I can afford therapy.

Driving through the blur

Zipping along the north expressway, I am somewhat relieved to be on the "other" expressway. And this one has a much smoother ride and free from the agitating construction works temporarily plaguing the south luzon expressway.

So homeward bound, I started to feel hunger pangs as soon as I got on the highway and stopped at the first gas station that I saw. Feasting on a two-piece chickenjoy meal, there is something different about the north if you're mostly traversing the southern route. I can't put my finger on it, but it seems to be a relief to find yourself on this stretch of road.

Today being a Friday, I am awfully tempted to just drive further northwards, to Baguio perhaps? Or just hang out amidst the beaches of La Union or Zambales. I usually pack an extra set of clothes anyway when out of town so the thought was really a plausible one. Even up to now, southbound and about 10 kilometers into the expressway, there's still something tugging at my guts to drive on and just listen to the radio.

Hmm, maybe I'm just plotting my escape. Or just plain bored with work among other things that a singular act of impulsiveness could turn things around. Right now I'm thinking of a friend I have in Vigan. Now that's about seven or so hours away, not to mention the trip back. Should I? Would I? What should I be doing back in Manila, anyway? It's the weekend, a chance to escape. I could still churn out that report that I need to work on whilst downing a cold one on the beach. And being home alone plopped in front of the television is really such a waste of time.

So why am I still gravitating towards getting back home? I have no idea, probably just as the moon, I am condemned to revolve around a single magnetic force, which in this case happens to be my washing machine. Tons of chores to be done as well, including chomping down on the day old sharksfin siomai that I have stored in the fridge.

Back in the "old" days, I'd be looking for all sorts of excuses to get out of the house and drive. So it is pretty eerie that I am now looking for an excuse to get back home. Have I been so domesticated by my laundry? Lost the drive to explore? Became impotent when it comes to vacations? Susmariosep!

Oh well, I'll know in a couple of hours what happens, I guess.

Hangover (I need a life)

Min 250 words, 1 keyword used 3x.
kw: wannabe link: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rockstar-lyrics-nickelback.html

Be a wannabe

As the need for some rest and relaxation has hit its critical point, there is simply nothing that beats sitting in front of the idiot box and just staring away at the first channel that strikes your fancy. With the myriad of channels to choose from thanks to the convenience provided by the friendly neighborhood cable guy, the idiot box has brought a world of apathy to everyday life.

Consider the advantages of just staring at the tube for hours on end, you instantly reduce the tension and throbbing sensation in your temple, reducing your brain into mush, ready to absorb even the most absurd concepts you will find onscreen such as tone deaf idiots who try to please four strangers who, in their efforts to revive their washed up careers, try to act like experts when it comes to identifying star quality. Never again will you be able to do anything constructive in the next few hours!

But the best feature that this innovative invention of the modern times has brought us is most probably our desire to be someone of importance without even trying, better known as being a wannabe. Being a wannabe has its distinct advantages in that it robs us of the stress that the universe has chosen to unload on your person and instills in us an unfounded belief that we are cut out for something more than we deserve. This naivete has not only given us a one way ticket to idiocy, but has also reinforced our childhood fantasy of being as significant as Big Bird. So get ready to bum out in the living room and crazy glue that remote to the palm of your hand and during the commercial break, daydream about your star on the rise as you are transformed into a true wannabe.

Where's my summit?

I’m thinking of resigning from work. I dunno, just want some time to be able to do nothing. I can always get another job if I wanted to. (Or need to)

So the plan is to first clear all my other obligations then move into that small house I will be buying then just do nothing. A year, two? Who knows.

I find myself tired. Tired of so many things that it’s a really enticing thought to stop and stand still. Pocket vacations just don’t do it for me anymore. The thought of all the work that waits for me when I get back just sucks out all the energy I gained from three or four days of rest.

I envy people who find the motivation to do their jobs day in and day out. I used to be one of those people though I don’t really say it. But it’s just not in me anymore. The added responsibility is quite a challenge, yes. But the more I struggle, the more I find myself assaulting a steeper and steeper hill. And to be realistic, when is it all going to end? Another 10-20 years? That is just too vague to wait for.

So I thought of a deadline for my resignation: January 1, 2011. It’s my resolution for the next few months. I will slave each day until then but promise myself to drop everything as soon as that clock strikes twelve. Something to look forward to, I guess.

And thus, Hap begins!

Drunken Talk

So I just came back from Cebu. While I was there, I managed to squeeze in a few bottles of beer with three of my fraternity brothers who work there. One of the, Tuting, has already settled down there with his family while the two others whom I had the chance to know back in college, had just moved there less than a year ago. As usual, most of the conversation revolved around life back in college, reliving the times and experiences of the fraternity in 3 generations from the early 90’s, late 90’s and early part of 2000 only to be intermittently interrupted by our harmless advances on the “lovely” waitress who served us our beer and egged us to order appetizers. (which we stingily kept on asking for free)

Those are the nights worth cherishing, having conversations in a not so familiar place with people outside your regular circle. Quite enlightening to find different lives and experiences, and refreshing as well to hear other voices and faces.

Coincidentally, I find our little foursome among the pages of the book that I am currently reading (well, re-reading actually). “You Lovely People” by Bienvenido Santos. The author belongs to that generation of Filipino writers in English among which are F. Sionil Jose and NVM Gonzales who have spent much of their lives studying and teaching in America and have written about the Filipino experience both from their memory in the Philippines as well as their travels abroad. His book revolves around the travels across America during the second world war of a young Filipino scholar and the Filipino and American characters whom he meets along the way. Of course, I in our group I imagine myself as the main character, and the three others my kababayans who I meet up with in my travels.

On the flight back to Manila, as I was finishing up the last remaining chapters of the book, I realize that I too could write a book such as this one. It would probably have the same tone too as I have adapted my writing to the style of this particular generation with their flowery and descriptive prose and subtle interjections, reflecting my fondness for their work. I put down the book and looked at the picture of the stout and balding author looking all snazzy in his amerikana and leaning against very academic looking banisters. If I should write a book, I would probably prefer my portrait not to be in it, I thought to myself.

The thought of the content of that future book comprised most of the hour long flight to Manila. It would probably be chapters upon chapters of drinking sprees across the country. From painting the town red in Baguio with a stranger I picked up in a bar (Boy Baguio I call him) to drinking Chaktung (I can’t remember the exact spelling) inside a classroom high up in the remote mountains of South Cotabato among indigenous villagers who warn me not to venture outside as bandits abound.

So the next time you see me in a drunken haze and slurring with a bunch of strangers in some sleazy bar someplace remote, I’m actually gathering more fodder for my book. Hahaha!