All I want for Christmas...

Because it's almost Christmas, I'm making a list of the things I want:

1. New threads and shoes for the office.

Yeah, I'm tired of rotating my limited wardrobe. There are only about 7 shirts that I wear with 2 pairs of pants. Heck, my friend's dog has more stuff to wear than I do.

2. An Escalade.

Sometimes, I do tire of taking the bus. On rainy days and on sunny ones. Heck, there are only 2 seasons in this country and apparently commuting is a hassle on both. Maybe an Escalade is over the top, but hopefully with such a lofty target I might end up getting a 2nd hand Hyundai. Beats the bus for sure.

3. A new sofa.

Lately, I've been sleeping on the couch. I find that this little trick enables me to wake up faster. Trouble is the couch is a bit too small that I can't really stretch myself out. Then again, maybe if I get a better couch, I fall back into not waking up as fast. But if it's gonna make the living room look better, what the hell...

4. A better mousetrap.

Surely everyone can appreciate this one.

5. A bigger apartment.

Not that I need one, but I've always wanted a bigger pad. Something like the enormous space Tom Hanks had in the movie "Big". I've always wanted to have enough space for a bowling alley someday, plus I can do all my jogging indoors, too.

6. A ginormous LCD television.

Porn will never be the same once I get my hands on one of those babies!

7. A yacht.

I've always wanted to use the words 'starboard' and 'anchors away'. Plus I hear these toys are virtually irresistible to models. I already have my camera, you know...

8. A real kitchen, with the cast iron skillets and all.

Hmm, this must have a lot to do with the food channel if you ask me.

9. A self-cleaning mop.

There are few things more irritating that having to clean a mop. For one thing, it's been busy cleaning up the things you didn't want to get your hands on so why the heck would I want to touch it now? Mickey had it spot on in "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" or whatever flick that was.

10. A pet hamster.

Okay, this little bugger's been on my list for ages. But I'm just not sure I can handle all that responsibility yet.

*****

I had really something witty and grand to end this with... but now I'm sleepy and forgot what the heck it was supposed to be. My fault, each time I listed down one of the wishes above I took a lot of time imagining that I already had it and daydreamed about what I was gonna do.

Oh well, there's always next year.