Calling AA

Funny story. I was looking up ‘Airport Parking’ a few days ago from the yellow pages. There wasn’t any, but lo and behold the next entry was ‘Alcoholism’ under which there was a number for ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’. As some sort of wicked dare to myself, I called up the number and was quite stupefied to hear the ringing tone on the other end of the line.

Hold up, in case you don’t know me well enough, I am someone who my friends think of as an alcoholic. Of course, I protest this and maintain that I am simply a social drinker. I may have a collection of emptied liquor bottles at home, but that purely for aesthetics and not in any way a reflection of an immense thirst for alcohol.

So going back, someone on the other end picks up and it was the voice of an old lady, probably well into her 60’s by the timbre of her voice. I was expecting a more scholarly tone, maybe a retired psychology professor who wanted to play god.

“Hi. Is this Alcoholics Anonymous?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“I just wanted to ask something.”
“Yes?”
“How does one tell if someone is an alcoholic?”
“It depends, what symptoms do you have?”
“Uh, not me. My friend, I’m not sure exactly. What sort of symptoms are there?”
“Haha, well there are many. But of course the hardest person to convince that he is an alcoholic is himself. Unless he can admit that he is, there is not much that you can do for him.” Hmm, I think she’s on to me.
“Ah… well for example drinking oneself drunk on weekends. Is that already considered a symptom? I mean, what is the threshold for alcoholism?”
“It depends from person to person, anak.”
“Uh, okay. So what can your organization do for those alcoholics?”
“We are not really an organization, we are a group of people who share and support one another to be sober.”
“So if someone doesn’t think they are alcoholic then your group cannot help them?”
“Yes, first you have to admit to the problem first, unless one realizes this by themselves then there is not much that the group can do. You see, anak, we can only help people who are helping themselves. That is the first step and unless you admit that you are an alcoholic then you do not believe that you need help in the first place.”
“So if I want to try to convince my friend to stop it, is there a group that could be of help?”
“Well, you could put him in rehab, specially if he poses a danger to those around him. However, this will cost a good amount of money.”
“Ahh, so there are rehabs even if it is not against the law?”
“Well, some send their underage children who have developed this habit and sometimes their husbands or wives. If the person already poses a threat to himself and others, then of course they have to be helped.”
“Is this private?”
“There are private ones but those are expensive. Also, there are some government programs that are cheap but often they are unable to attend to all the needs”
“So could you give me some rehabs that you know of?”

Okay, this is the blah blah blah part. Like I really want to know about the rehab center! It seemed like the polite thing to do, and she did give a lot of time for someone who obviously had nothing better to do.

*****

No, this blog is not a cry for help so you better not get any ideas! It just occurred to me that I haven’t had as much alcohol in me lately. Most of my drinking buddies have slowed down, and I guess having two jobs hasn’t given me too much time to spend downing bottles. So have I noticed anything different about myself since limiting my alcohol consumption? Not really. If anything, it seemed to have helped my appetite as I find myself getting hungry more often. Hmm, maybe I’ll help myself to a little drink later on.