A few nights ago, I had a conversation about days of yore when I was supposedly poor. This was a time when I had to live on P500 bucks a week while exiled in the far-flung rice paddies of the northern provinces. A trip to town to withdraw my allowance already cost 10% of the full amount, breakfast consisted of "cornick" (deep fried corn kernels) and cold, hard leftover rice, relying on the kindness of strangers for meals and lodgings was an imperative for survival because 500 bucks wouldn't last two days given the work that I had to do back then.
Well, I got to thinking about it again, but this time I realize, I was better off back then financially than I am now. The present is the height of poverty... because back then, I didn't have this ginormous loan that I'm still paying off and netting me a sorry negative on the balance sheet. Sure I'm raking in a lot more than the meager 500 bucks, but I'm spending more than I make. Maybe I should go back to that life, surviving by eating crumbs and relying on the folks for lodgings; counting every penny that I have in my pocket, and deny myself the creature comforts and extravagances I'm so used to nowadays, such as scotch, cigarettes, pizza, internet, and cups of espresso. Yep, I probably should, but I don't think I will. Not yet, anyway.
*****
There's this ironic saying in Formula One, that the best way to win the race is to cross the line first in the slowest pace possible. It makes sense from a technological and human standpoint, conserving precious fuel, minimizing engine and tire wear and maintaining sane amounts of G-forces that the driver is subjected to during braking and cornering. This ensures both man and machine are still competitive for the next race, because there are 19 battles one has to go through en route to winning the season.
The same holds true for life, I say. I'd rather take it all at a leisurely pace than pressure myself to do all the things I ought to do all at once. I guess this demeanor can be blamed on a happy-go-lucky attitude and a non-existent sense of urgency, but I daresay, so far so good. Sure I've got money problems, living a life I can't afford, but I'm still living, aren't I? My career is fast approaching that proverbial glass ceiling, but I ain't there yet. I'm in my thirties and still single, fine, I could always get a dog. And if all that fails, well, I've still got my health. If happiness and contentment were the sole yardstick for which one's life achievement is to be measured, I guess I've got a head start, thanks to the ridiculously low standards I've set for myself.
On the other hand, in the very likely event that life's yardstick happens to be an unwavering passion for personal achievement and a real contribution to the betterment of mankind, I'll leave it to my next life to do compensate for the wasted opportunity that is this one.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Don't worry hap. Life is not just about what you have. It's also about what you can live without. ;)
It's clear that you fully understand the situation you are in. But contrary to the "happy and content" demeanor that you are trying to project, you end up sounding resigned and helpless about your current predicament. Maybe it's because you're afraid that changing one aspect of your life that you've already become very comfortable with will reduce whatever happiness and contentment you're feeling right now. Or maybe it's just because you've become too lazy and apathetic to give a damn. I know I'm not in a position to tell you what to do with your life, so I won't even try to do that. Just know that in case you need anything (as long as it's not free cash), you always have friends that you can turn to.
Thanks guys! It's the friends that I have that give me all the happiness I'll ever need. Well, a bit of booze helps too. :D Just kidding.
Post a Comment