Can the photocopier really make you impotent?

Got home from the office a quarter past midnight, had to finish off a proposal that was due in a few hours. This might be the latest that I stayed at the office to actually work, I can hear the applause already. Hopefully I do get the project, that would be sweet!

The whole time I was making copies of this and that and going through the files and referencing them on the proposal and comparing references and extrapolating actual and overhead costs, I was cursing myself for having been too lazy to prepare well ahead of time. I had two full weeks to actually do all the prep work, ended up doing it at the very last minute. And it wasn't because I was busy doing more important things, most of the time, I was just at home, pondering mundane thoughts and just taking my time flicking the remote. Why do I subject myself to this brand of torture?

*****

I was talking to Jean over coffee this weekend, basically I just bitched about being out of sorts, unable to motivate myself to work or get a hobby or even do my laundry. The past month has just been strange, I even found myself too lazy to go out to grab a beer. Can you believe I turned down beer?! If it wasn't Archie's birthday, I wouldn't even taste a drop of alcohol all this past weekend. Something's definitely wrong with me.

The early entry of the summer must have been the cause. The sweltering heat has short circuited my brain, rendering me as useless as a recalled Toyota. At one point, I was even entertaining the idea of ditching this project altogether... no one would know anyway. I'd just say I lost the bid and that's that. Who cares if it's worth millions and could potentially get me that promotion and the all-important raise?! If it interferes with me lying on the couch scratching God-knows-what while surfing through all the channels of my illegal cable connection, then it's worth crap.

****

So you might be wondering how I finally got over the rut and managed to work my ass off a full 14 hours today? Well, at around 9:00 o'clock, the big boss came in, heavily tanned from his week long golf break after his son's wedding. He casually walked over to my desk, and asked if I was too busy to give him a walking tour of what was happening all around the office. I presume his two week layoff had totally deleted his memory of what he was paying us for, so I obliged.

We walked through every nook and cranny of the building and its exterior. I briefed him about how the installation of the spanking new Aurora Spectrometer was playing out, the transfer of equipment to the newly renovated Bacteriological section, the conversion of the incubators and hot plates to a three-phase circuit, and the repairs being done to the service vehicle. He asked about how the 4-day work week was going so I rounded out the new shifting schedule for the Mineral Section. Going up the third floor, he was pleased that the exhaust vents were finally installed on the fume hood, and the recently organized Consumer Goods Section were a week away from it's first dry run. I even showed him the drying patch of faux peanut grass that needed some watering, and the disappearance of the dog, Pappy.

We went back to his desk, and just as I turned to go to my own station, I felt his ever-elusive pat on the shoulder. "Hap, you just keep looking into what goes on here. One day, you might have to be more involved in the business." Whoa... did he just say what I think he said? Oh crap.

Hey, don't take it the wrong way, sure I'd love to go further up that ladder, but that means my days of being a lazy sloth are numbered. That statement my boss just made, there's a silent subtext that you may not have heard... 'From now on, I'm gonna watch you closely and be harder on you than you're used to, because that builds character, and you need a lot of it to stay in this business.'

With that, I was compelled to work my ass off today. Now, I need this project to keep him from breathing down my neck and whipping me through the flaming rings of corporate hell. Oh well, time to earn my keep, I guess.