This little piggy got hacked with a friggin' plate!

Couldn't sleep. No, not the usual kind... this time, my mind is willing, but the body just ain't ready yet. I've got half a suckling pig in my belly and a whole mouthful of paella to digest before I even think of hitting the sack.

Must say, though, I didn't think I'd have the appetite to eat the roasted piggy. I was washing my hands in the restroom, me and some friends (and a friend's mom) were having a nice quiet meal at a quaint little restaurant when I heard an awful ruckus outside. When I got out, I was a bit horrified to see the waiter whacking the poor piglet with of all things, a dinner plate! Whoa... easy there, fella, that pig's dead. I don't think it's oinking it's way anywhere else. When the banging stopped, I could almost hear the applause of the Roman Colloseum, shouting praises to a gladiator for finishing off a terrible monster

So I sat down again and thought of the horror that I just witnessed. The waiter that finished off the piglet put its dismembered pieces on two large plates. There was no need to be reminded of the cruel way that this pig died it's second death... so I grabbed a sizable piece and helped erase all memory of it, bite by glorious bite.

*****

Can't help but feel a bit cruel for the way I spoke to a friend last night. She asked for a little bit of advice but I think I was way too frank on her. Maybe I could have handled it a bit differently, such as speaking in metaphors rather than giving real life examples that were all just too real. Now I'm wondering if somehow I crossed some imaginary line between being helpful and being just mean. Of course, I gave the get-out-of-jail-free phrase... "No offense...". This is a device that is quite similar to the hugely popular "With all due respect..." but is not that obvious. But as everyone who has been on the receiving end of these phrases, it's all just a bunch of bull anyway and the person saying it is still a big prick for saying what they said.

So if you're reading this, I meant everything I said with all due respect. (Oops, I did it again! Ain't I a dick?)

*****

I realize that pretty soon my number is up. I've moved from being Earvin "Magic" Johnson to Larry Bird. I seems like only yesterday when I was a young Michael Jordan, now the reality of becoming the Michael Jordan post/pre-retirement is looming ever so close.

If you don't understand what the hell the above paragraph is about, well, you're probably a girl.

*****

A few months back, Nolan and I were discussing how phony all those elementary textbooks were depicting the men and women of the PI dressed up in the oh-so-popular "baro't saya" and "camiso chino" while planting rice or tending to everyday chores. I think I've mentioned this on a previous post, but I'm just too lazy to post the link to where it is.

Well anyway, scouring the pages of facebook, an elder brod of mine posted what seemed to be turn of the century (well, the other century at least) photos of such scenes. Whoa... so maybe it is true.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=596316231&ref=nf#!/album.php?aid=10468&id=100000524337743&ref=mf