Monday, May 31, 2010

Pepper talk

Yes, two posts in a row. That's why endorphins and boredom don't mix...

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Me and my buddy were downing cold ones in a bar one early evening. We had just come from a christening, I was a godfather to a cute baby girl (Good luck, kid. I am probably the worst godparent in history). We were still full from the reception that followed, but the munchies set in on me, and I had to get a nibble.

I scanned the menu, and found TNT, a fancy name for stuffed green peppers. This was one of the more popular new barchows among the cheap watering holes. Typically, the green peppers were stuffed with cheese then wrapped in spring roll wrappers before being deep fried. It was usually mildly hot, the green peppers not really as potent as their red cousins, but had enough of a kick to put the exclamation point on a gulp cold beer. So I called the waiter, and ordered a batch.

It came, and it was a tad different from what we were used to. This wasn't wrapped, it was sliced partially open, then stuffed with ground meat and melted cheese, the green of the pepper still gleaming in its spicy glory. Excitedly, my buddy took the first bite, immediately after which he chugged down half a bottle of beer to suppress the fire burning in his mouth. It was effin' hot, I guess. I guess that should have been my cue to send it back to the kitchen, to be shoved down the chef's throat, instead I took a bite. Wow, it was effin' hot! (Hooray for Captain Obvious!) We suspect that had it been deep fried, the cooking oil would probably had taken out some of the natural oils that made the peppers hot, but since this was seemingly baked, all those essential oils were still there.

Out of sheer pride, we finished the whole plate anyway, downing half a dozen beers in the process. There were 6 peppers in all, I was sweating like crazy the whole time. You probably guessed that we didn't order the same thing again, of course we didn't. We got peanuts, plain, boring old peanuts. Peanuts are not hot, they're pretty bland if unsalted, they're the safe bet, and not hot. (Yes, that needed repetition)If a single piece of pepper were served along with our peanuts, we would have gone straight to the kitchen and fashioned out a new a-hole for the chef.

Moral of the Story: When embarking on a drinking session, check your pride at the door. This saves you a lot of inconvenience, and generally promotes better health.

Alternate Moral of the Story: Peppers of any color are hot, stupid!

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