Crappy moments

It's Tuesday, another post for Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays:

Back in college, it seemed so cool to be able to consume large quantities of alcohol and not get drunk all too quickly. Well, this was sort of the idea I had when I went drinking with some strangers at someone's house.

Now this 'someone' just happens to be a huge crush of mine back then. She invited me over to her house after our class together to celebrate her birthday with some of her friends. I was naturally excited, and wanted to show off how "cool" I was by being able to guzzle down beers, some shots of rum, whiskey and even gin without flinching. Well, for a moment I found myself basking in some sort of stupid glory, that was until my tummy grumbled. I had to use the toilet, but the nearest one was full of puke and guts spilled over. My crush walked towards me and asked if something was wrong. I asked if they had another comfort room that I could use, for number one, of course. She told me to go upstairs and use the one nearest her room. I excused myself and ran up that flight of stairs flat out, lest I poop all over my pants.

It was a wonderful feeling, being able to let it all out, right until I tried to flush and nothing happened. Uh oh...

In panic, I tried to flush it manually with a bucket but there was no water from the tap, either. A water shortage meant that the water supply to their neighborhood was rationed, and not another drop would come until dawn. CRAP! There was nothing to do but cover the deed with about half a roll of tissue paper and "confess" my crime. I was somewhat relieved when my crush didn't even let out a giggle or lash out at me and calmly told me not to worry, it would all be taken care of in the morning. Whew! And so the merriment continued, me being relieved of a terrible burden both ways and even had the gall to warn the strangers at the party not to use the upstairs toilet. It went well until we were all stopped cold by the sight of my crush's dad charging down from upstairs, inquiring "Who the **** crapped in the upstairs toilet?!" That question echoed throughout the house, and everybody stood motionless, except for my crush who explained. Now imagine me, in the center of the living room, all my senses tingling as eyes turned ever so slowly in my direction. Ice cubes started to trickle down my face. The "five minute" grace period I had imposed on myself came as an eternity before I meekly excused myself from the party and went in search of a high enough bridge from which to jump from...