Dealing with Dinosaurs

I woke up this morning to find a dinosaur asleep on my couch. What the heck it was doing there, I still have trouble figuring out. Of course, I didn’t bother to disturb it, I would hate to have to clean up after it right before I left for the office. I left it alone in its slumber while I tiptoed my way around the house.

Having a dinosaur is kind of a hassle. You only need to imagine your pet iguana, then blow it out of normal proportion until its dump is the size of your refrigerator. Plus the fact that its appetite is a sight to behold, with a dump that big, can you imagine just how much chow it can gulp in less than a minute? Under normal circumstances, I would never ever let a dinosaur invade the privacy of my home, but since its already there, I guess I don’t have much of a choice.

A quick tip should you ever find myself in a similar situation, dinosaurs are not that easy to get rid of. They keep coming back and back because the warmth of your home is a necessity for its cold-blooded nature. The best way to get rid of a dinosaur is to strand it somewhere far far away then change the locks. Better yet, move to another apartment, these reptiles have a knack of being cagey and clingy.

Hmm, I got a message from the dinosaur. It would seem that it is hungry, and would like to open some food I have stocked. Though it would be my human right to say No and preserve the little means of sustenance that I have for myself, no one ever said No to a dinosaur before. I would not want to be the first.

Another hassle of having a dinosaur around is that you can’t really tell whether it is coming or going. For example, right now I don’t know if it would still be there when I get back home or has left the apartment in search of new prey. And when you do find it gone, you have to give it a week’s time before you can be sure that you have rid yourself (temporarily) of the beast.

Despite all the downsides of having a pet dinosaur, I can’t seem to extricate myself from such a precarious situation. I’m guessing the solution is quite simple, booby trap your apartment so that this thought-to-be-extinct creature gets a hint, but I just can’t find it in me to do so. Well anyway, as with all the challenges thrown my way, I’ll probably be learning how to deal with such a pre-historic bother for a few days to come.