I'm going to hell for sure now

I missed my favorite gas station. Lately it's been invaded by a group of yuppies using the (only) outlet and free wi-fi for their counter-strike tournament. They have displaced me as the resident parasite in this joint and this has been the reason for the disruption of my somewhat regular posting schedule.

As it turns out, there are specific places where I could blog. Too bad my pad is not one of them. My blog-brain has identified some 'hot-spots' where the connective ether from thoughts to post is at its most efficient, otherwise the connection is pretty choppy and my prose is in a giant mess. Gas stations with free wi-fi seems to be the best places for posting blogs, thus my long hours logged at several of these spots.

Fortunately, the group seems to have left early today and I am left to my favorite devices.

*****

I'm not religious. Fact is, I don't have one, but I'm stopping short of saying I'm an atheist because believe me, I'm not. To round up my non-devout religious past life, I spent about 6 conscious years in the INC faith, lived through a decade of catholic school and 2 years attending christian worships.That's a lot of years being told to be both very guilty and very thankful about my existence. (which is basically what religion is all about, I daresay)

So imagine me playing scrabble here at the gas station when a nun approaches me. At first I anticipate some manner of soliciting donations in the works, but then she asks if I was online. My mind races for the "right" answer. Mind you that the right answer excuses me from entertaining more questions at the same time saving my soul from eternal damnation. ("Sorry sister, but I don't give a damn" equals an express lane to hell) "Yes." I manage to squeak. Turns out that their vehicle went kaput and they were looking for some way to contact a mechanic. Mechanics can be reached through plurk or facebook, sure. I give my most innocent look and shrug my shoulders, looking very apologetic and exasperated. Sister turns away, probably to hide her middle finger from view.

So I try to extricate my soul from hell, I reach out for my wallet and fish for my AAP card. (Free towing, expired membership, though.) I tell her they could contact the numbers at the back. They ask how much they charge... I tell her, and she gives me that look (uh oh, I sense a donation coming...). Thankfully one of their companions (a non-cleric) points out the fact that coverage is only within Manila and since we were well beyond city limits, help from that end seems unlikely. Whew.

Waitaminute... you might ask what's bothering me about helping my fellow man? Well, I did mention a game of scrabble in the works, didn't I? That's a timed game and going overtime gives the opposing person the chance to force forfeit me. It's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again, particularly in this instance. After the other player forfeited me, I was in no mood to be charitable, specially not to the bothersome representative of His Holiness. (Yes, the pope. Until the hour of revelation unveils the clergy as being the Supreme One's voice on earth, I prefer to think of them as papal puppets)

So what happened to the unfortunate nun and her flock of non-mechanics? They politely excused themselves from my face and bothered the next person. Clearly I was not the good samaritan from parables of old. I see someone phone for a mechanic and excused himself. After half an hour, the mechanic came but no parts were available. The owner of the gas station then arrives, without much help. Then someone recommends a tow truck service. By this time I was so deep into my next game that I am clueless as of this writing what became of the penguin. (Shame on me!)

Well anyway, that little episode confirms that indeed, I am going to hell if there is one. I wonder if there's a game of scrabble there? Probably yes, but without any vowels in play.