Idle thoughts

Was doing nothing, having gas-station-coffee with my friends last Sunday when two men on mountain bikes sat at the next table. I think I know one of them, but being a dude, looked the other way. In a couple of minutes, while swatting away a pesky fly, I glanced at the general direction of the dude and peripherally caught him looking at me as well. Crap, I'm tagged. So I got up, offered my hand and the customary how do you do's and introduced him to the guys. He did the same thing with the guy he was with, and then we waved off, going back to our separate lives while seated at adjacent tables.

This phenomenon is common for guys, I guess. Whenever the other guy is not really one of your buds, the first reaction would be "I hope he didn't see me lest I'd have to greet him." When the acknowledgment of the other's existence becomes inevitable, it gets awkward immediately and you'd have to do the handshake, howdys and talk about someone common or something safe (the weather for instance) for not more than two minutes before excusing yourself. A sigh of relief at last!

For this precise reason, I don't know everyone I went to 4 years of high school with. Coming from an all-boys school, there was never any interest to get to know anyone. The limit of how many friends you needed was determined by how many phone numbers you could actually memorize (that's two for me) for homework purposes, or how many of them had a car or a cool video game. Other than that, what for?

By the time I went to college (which was co-ed, thank God), the number of guy friends that I knew grew. It was sort of a consequence of wanting to meet girls. (She's friends with him? Now I'd have to befriend him as well. Crap.) This made it all the more awkward for guys who knew the ulterior motives of one's friendly gestures. (So you're the next contestant, eh?)

You know the guy who knows everybody? Who's everyone's friend and who have more than a thousand friends on facebook? He's probably gay. And every other guy can't stand him even if he is straight. In fact, we'd probably think slightly better of him if he is gay, otherwise he's just annoying.

So dude, whoever you are, if by chance we stand next in line to one another or find ourselves at the same party or watering hole, let's just go on our own business and not be obliged to do small talk. A nod, a grunt is all it takes and were okay. If it gets really awkward, then a handshake and the customary rhetorical howdy is more than enough. Be warned that any attempt at a buss or (God forbid) a hug will spell doom for you and your clan, and the only acceptable situation wherein you are permitted within two feet from my ear is when you need to whisper the phrase "Dude, that's my sister you're checking out."