Master of the Universe

Today I could do no wrong. For one day every 2 years or so, the universe decides to grant me a whole day to be its master. One one of these occasions, Eduard called me, "Hap Almighty". (reference of course to Bruce Almighty, which spun off to Evan Almighty).

It started early this morning, I had a 9am with a client. First miracle was that I got there on time, 10 minutes to spare. So with coffee cup in hand, hardhat on my noggin and notebook tucked under my armpit, I went in the field office and looked for Mario. Mario seats me at his table and we discuss business. He needed the pipes to be inspected for Tuesday's sampling by our company. Though not an expert, not even a part of the technical team to be mobilized for said activity, one of my jobs is to pretend to be one for such occasions, this frees up valuable man-hours for other clients and allows me to find ways to hustle more money out of unsuspecting clients.

So I go with his assistant, blah-blah, and we follow the pipes leading to their still plugged "stub-out", whatever these may be. I do the nodding, doodle into my notebook pretending to take down valuable technical notes, and use some pre-selected jargon to make myself seem the expert I wasn't. Of course he bought it, and I continue to take pictures which I shall soon pass on to the guys at the lab who actually know what they're doing.

I go back to the field office, and pronounce that everything was going along smoothly and we don't expect any hitches forthcoming. Then convince poor unsuspecting fellow to let me cut their 10% discount to 2.5% on the basis of this particular inspection (more manpower, equipment, what-have-yous) and their payment terms from 30 days to 7, PDC in advance (advance purchases, mobilization guarantees). He signs the dotted line and I stifle the evil grin.

To celebrate, I treat myself to an hour of scrabble on facebook back at the office. Then the VP for Operation interrupts me, there was a client angry about some blunder the lab made. "No problem, I'm on line 26." I get the call and spend 5 minutes. By the end of the call, he calms down and apologizes for being rude earlier. Then he agrees to the surcharges I made up to settle the "contamination" that we detected in his sample (basically, the lab erred in the preparation of said sample) and will send an uncontaminated new sample by the afternoon. Boy am I good! Turning to the VP (who was listening to every word), I demand for a talent fee, my favorite lumpia toge. Yum!

By this time, I realized I was having "my day". So I relax and wonder what's next? The call comes in late in the afternoon, Tuesday meeting moved to Wednesday, yay! Then another call, client asking for a meeting on Tuesday, big business to be discussed. The stars were clearing a path for me! I spend the rest of the afternoon wondering if the poker gods were celebrating "my day", too. I stop short of hauling ass to the poker club... let the good come to you, I say.

As midnight makes its inevitable approach, I can't stop smiling at the recently concluded "my day". Then I hear there was an earthquake this afternoon in Mindoro, an omen, that confirms it.

Too bad these days come few and far between. But how can I complain? I am the master of the universe, after all.