GIRLY MY A$$!

RJ tells me that my blog is girly-sounding. How the heck did that happen? Aside from trying to make my posts more general patronage in nature, I don't think they have any feminine tone to them whatsoever.

I'm stopping short of asking anyone of you readers for your opinion. Shut up.

*****

My corner of the office is infested with mosquitoes, the small yet uber-pesky variety. I've noticed their numbers this week and have counted at least 3 buzzing all over the place. There could be more as I could hear people clapping their hands mid afternoon in the other areas as well.

After almost bludgeoning my hands trying to kill the blood-suckers, I take on a different tact. I went to the microbiological laboratory (yes, we do have one) and got a can of lysol. There wasn't any insecticide so I had to do with this. I liberally sprayed the entire area, consuming almost half the can outright in an effort to drown the bugs with disinfectant. After half an hour of smelling like a bathroom, I felt one of the mosquitoes sucking through my socks. Plan A failed. I asked my boss if I could smoke inside the office to get rid of them, of course this was refused. Plan B wasn't getting off the ground, sadly. The VP for Operations who is a metallurgist by profession and sitting near my area, had a suggestion: mouthwash. According to her, mosquitoes and other bugs get irritated from the smell of mouthwash and will leave the general area upon contact. Sounded like a plan.

I scour my more hygienically conscious officemates' locker in search of the elusive mouthwash. Finding a half-full bottle, I next went down to the laboratory once again to borrow a spray bottle. They offered one that they used to spray denatured alcohol. This could work, I told myself. I emptied the last of the alcohol, poured in half a liter of de-ionized water (excuse the semi-technical terms, I do work in a laboratory) and slipped in approximately half a teaspoon of mouthwash. I went back to my area soon after and sprayed away.

So what happened? Zilch. I should have had my doubts about it upon realizing that we actually gargle mouthwash and that it was in no way poisonous, but being desperate enough, that didn't mean a thing. So now my area smells like a mall's public washroom and every so often you'd hear me applauding to no one.

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Had I mentioned previously that the first appliance that I saved for and bought on my own was an electric fan? Well, that is kaput as of this morning. I settled it on an uneven table top and about a minute after setting it to the highest power level, it suddenly thrust itself backward and fell on the hard tiled floor. Too bad, I always liked that fan. Gotta stop by the mall one of these days and get another.

*****

It's been a hot sweaty day here in the south. After weeks of rains, the sun has made it back into the sky to scorch me. Now the wisdom of bringing a jacket to the office has become highly questionable.

Of course, there are worse things than to be sunburned while crossing the street. Definitely better than getting doused with hard rains while lighting up in the smoking area. If you ask me and my over-active sweat glands, however, the discomfort that the heat brings is significantly greater in magnitude to getting a bit wet with good old water.

Maybe that's the reason for all those mosquitoes basking in air-conditioning at the office.