In headlights

It's pretty amazing how some things manage to still hold you in shock despite all the foreboding and anticipation. Just goes to show how much people will try to resist all manners of change until the very last moment. Take for example the case of the disappearing client that knocked the wind right out of me. Thought I had this in the bag, even had the contract to prove it. The email notification of them canceling their order had me staring at the monitor for a full ten minutes before I realized what they were really trying to say.

In panic, I nearly shouted at my assistant to get them on the phone, PRONTO! Hadn't thought of what I wanted to say yet but I was sure not going to let this go easy. The person on the other end of the line confirmed my worst nightmare, they weren't satisfied and wanted to try others out. Kinda sounded like my ex-girlfriend, that is never a good sign. I politely said 'I understand, but I'm sure that we could work things out if we sit down together lay our cards on the table.' 'Yeah, maybe we could. I'll ask my boss when he's available.' Drats, the message between the lines was clear as day, 'You could try, hombre. You could try but you're not getting anywhere with me.'

Ah the tragedy of it all. Years of hard work suddenly going down the drain. Four years ago, still green to the sales game, I had set out to nab this company and put them on my client list. Through the years I'd visit them, sit down and talk to them about what they needed and then get rejected. Late last year, I got a break as they opted to try out what I had to offer. Finally all that hard work paid off! The feeling of accomplishment was just too good, I had to savor it with beer and pizza. Then last week I got an email, they had a problem. No worries, everything could be fixed, and fix it I did, or so I thought. The guys in operations did a half-hearted job of it and thus they felt neglected. Now I get this email... oh boy.

I could finger-point all I want but that wasn't about to change anyone's mind. So why bother? I simply passed on the email to my boss who wanted an explanation. I gave her one, trying not to pin anyone in particular, this was still a team effort after all and the more I distance myself from the majority, the more alone I would be.

These past few hours I still keep replaying that email in my head. Couldn't help feeling that it was my fault, maybe I should have kept a closer eye on the whole situation. I make plans to get them back, and while I did, the realization of how hard I had to work to sign them up in the first place came crashing down on me like a heap of boulders. If there was going to be a next time, I'm pretty sure that it would take a gargantuan effort to sign them back in and double that to keep them. Is it all worth it? That was a dumb question, of course I had to do it. Not doing so was equivalent to letting everyone else go. I take out the dusty old drawing board and start all over with this odyssey.

But before I do, let me wipe off that shocked expression off my face first with a cold one and an even colder slice of pizza.