Good Friday Blues

Got really close to the office's photocopier today. Think I'm gonna be shooting blanks for a while. What I am doing at the office on a Good Friday is indeed something of a mystery. Why I didn't do all the stuff I had to do today previously is a result of many things. First was the Calaguas trip. Then a gazillion things that needed to be done at the office when I got back. Then I got super lazy the next weekend and before I knew it, here I am driving from the office to my favorite hang out along the northbound stretch of the SLEX.

It feels kinda strange, I'm the only one who came from work. The gas station is cramped with vacation goers, a whole lot of them kids who just puked their guts out after the long drive. I missed my favorite Chickenjoy dinner because Jollibee was full of people trying to get a snack for the drive home. Had to do with a hotdog sandwich from Bonjour for sustenance.

I wonder if I were Catholic, would I be as willing to travel the distance to the office on a Good Friday? Can't say really, maybe I still would for the convenience of being employed. My boss certainly didn't find it strange when I texted her that I would be going to the office. Can you spell slave-driver? Hahaha!

*****

Leo is currently living at my house for the vacation. Why, I do not know. He does have his whole house to himself, so why he wants to crash at my place is strange, if not dysfunctional. So now I can't go on with my planned general clean up because he's there. I'd hate cleaning up and finding all of his shoe marks on the floor after just having mopped up. Arrgh! There are a lot of reasons why I chose to live alone, and having him crash over at my place is certainly not one of them. But what can you do?

*****

Am convinced that all of my hard work at the office today is for naught. I dunno, just have this stinking feeling. I won't tell any details, but there is one part of this "project" that I have to rely on someone else to be able to complete it. And I don't think this person could possibly move heaven and earth, so I can say that it is a complete waste of time. So why am I still working through the holidays for this? Because 1) I've nothing better to do, 2) I want to prove a point at the office, 3) My boss told me to.

*****

Warning: Emo comes up next...

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I don't just pack up and go back home to my parent's house. Been having a tough time trying to budget a lot of things that come with the territory of being independent, and I so miss the days when all I had to do was wait for my daily allowance. Lately, I found myself balancing a lot of my expenses and trying to figure out a way past them. This wasn't a problem when I was doing two jobs, but I gave one up to preserve my sanity and so here I am with another problem.

Well, I did come up with a lot of solutions, all of which I don't like. I could move to a cheaper apartment, get a housemate, get a loan (loan consolidation, that bull), or get back on the web review gig. But inertia keeps me from moving towards any of them.

Mom texted me this afternoon, informing me that she had cooked my favorite dish and was welcome to come home and partake of it. I didn't reply, I was then neck deep in paperwork and numbers that I got irritated at the thought of stopping in the middle of things to say thanks but no thanks. I've noticed that the both of them have been putting up ploys to get me to visit home of late. Reminds me of "Cats in the Cradle" a whole lot.

You see, ever since college I had sworn that I would leave the "nest" as soon as I found work. Seven years after and I have so far kept to that promise (save for a couple of months when I had no choice but to go back). And now, I am entertaining thoughts of coming back home? It's practical, it's convenient, it makes so much sense, but you know me always trying to prove myself to everyone.

So far, I think I'd still be able to keep up this lifestyle for a few more months before finding myself in dire need of tweaking my finances. Guess I'll be riding my luck as far as it would take me just because of my stupid pride. Hopefully a stroke of luck would come by and I wouldn't have to be too drastic. Till then, guess I just gotta keep paying the rent.

*****

Boo! It's April. Not only is it the birthmonth, but there are a lot of things which I associate with this month.

First, it's also the month when I joined good 'ol BE. Bittersweet, but worth it definitely. Then, there's this thing that happened last year, shaking up the whole household (you can guess, but I'm not telling). April is also when most of my childhood vacations happened, Baguio, Pansol, Pansol again and again, Bicol, Batangas. The coincidence that it is a summer month means that a lot happens just around this time obviously. All of my break-ups occurred on this month too... weird.

So a third of the way through April, wonder what happens this year?