Italian Bugs

Hung out at a coffee shop in Makati this morning. Over my third cup of coffee, I overheard (not eavesdropped, mind you) 2 people talking…

“I’ve this new product, do you know royal jelly?” Says the salesman.
“Hai… yes. From bees?” Says the Japanese fellow.
“Yes, from bees. This product I have is 300 times more potent!”
“Why?”
“It was developed from Italian bees…”

At this point, I knew I had to turn and run. Italian bees? ITALIAN bees? My mind was playing tricks on me. In the first place, what do Italian bees have that other bees don’t? If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not have a “bee-laughing” fit? What if the hive was right on the Italian border with France, does this affect the general quality of the “royal jelly”? Did the pope bless them with holy water, thus creating a superior master bee-race? Vafancu…

So if you got Jollibee’s “royal jelly”, would it taste like secret sauce?

*****

The whole day has been marked by laziness. Up till now, I can’t seem to bring myself to do anything productive. I should be doing a number of things instead of writing, but then my brain and muscles simply won’t budge.

*****

Talked over the phone with my friend Mark. Surgery went well, he’s resting and recuperating in the hospital till Tuesday I think. Sounded kind of groggy, he just woke up and was still medicated. Managed to make him chuckle at an absurd remark, so I guess he’s alright.

Come to think of it, Mark was the person who has led me into a number of things that on my own I wouldn’t have done in the first place. Back in college, I was not really into the whole fraternity culture and was quite content being a “barbarian”. Mark was already decided on joining one and had asked me to go with it as well. Around that time, fratmen stopped courting me and so I assumed that I was no longer one of the select few. I told him I would consider it if they asked. True enough, someone did ask, not one of the many friends I had in this particular fraternity but a stranger. Yet, remembering Mark, I said yes. He on the other hand begged off due to family reasons, and so I went through it without him.

During a drinking session at his house, we talked about blogs. Neither one of us had one but we enjoyed reading stuff people wrote. He encouraged me to write one, he was planning the same. I wasn’t too hot on the idea then, but 4 years later, here I am bored to death and writing to stay sane. He still doesn’t have one, by the way.

During college again, we were always the loudmouths heckling the organization’s officers about an outing for the break. One day, the then chairman suddenly and without warning assigned us to organize it. We planned and planned over many bottles of beer, but the day prior suddenly realized that we had done nothing yet! Off we went to Los Banos, with my car’s battery kaput and with less than 24 hours before the outing to look for a resort. The house was great and while walking the surrounding areas, found a great little spot where the view was spectacular. We instantly made a pact to keep this spot secret and during the party discreetly lure our “partners” to the spot for some quality time. Getting there, after a few drinks and dinner, I made off to the secret spot, someone in tow. Mark was still at the party and did not seem to notice me heading off. As the crowd thinned out, he looked for me and asked someone where I was, to which the reply was that I went in that direction with “others”. Mark grew furious, thinking I gave away the spot. He called on everyone and charged there with the mob, only to find me not even seeing the pitch yet! He realized his mistake but it was too late. Blue balls had set in, and now everyone was there, no chance at privacy. Asswipe.

Well, there are a lot of other stories which comes naturally when you’re friends with someone over the years. Hope he gets well, still have to repay that debt I owe him high up in the mountains of Los Banos…